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Humor

July 2019
Witham
Ernie's World

Workout Blues

Navigating the gym can be a bit a workout all by itself. My gym has a giant speaker that hangs over many of the machines,
which, yes, before you ask, I do start up. Some days they play
nondescript music at a reasonable level and I can still read my book. Other days they play music at a level that makes dogs howl three blocks away.

Wolfsie

Stand Up Guy

We both got down on the rug in a sitting position, which for me was already way harder than I remembered. We squirmed, rolled around on the floor, grunted, banged into each other, and started laughing (which is good for your heart, so we accomplished something).

May 2019
Cohen
Dear Pharmacist

New and Novel Ways to Treat Diabetes

Statin cholesterol medications can easily predispose a person to developing diabetes. After a few months or years, you suddenly need to take medications for diabetes...there are dozens of prescription and over-the-counter medications which negatively impact your blood glucose levels, glycation end products and overall insulin sensitivity.

Fowler
Eat Right Now

Nourishing, Magical, Curative Mushrooms

The family of edible fungus holds vitamins A, C, B-complex, D, phosphorous, magnesium, iron, protein, and copper. The potassium in shiitake and maitake mushrooms relaxes blood vessels, hence, reducing blood pressure. Packed with fiber, mushrooms improve digestion, lower blood sugars, and fill you up quicker.

Slayback

Caution: Are These Drugs Really Cures?

We know drug resistant bacteria emerge with overuse of antibiotics. Sadly, seniors are prescribed more drugs than another age group, with doctors writing nearly 52 million antibiotic prescriptions a year — that equals one for each senior in the U.S. every year.

Duffy

Marry Alexa? It’s a Dull Proposal.

People tell me I need to just ask her yes and no questions, so I do. I asked her if baseball is the world’s greatest sport. She gave me an update on major league baseball. I appreciated her
effort, but she didn’t answer my question.

Witham
Ernie's World

The Aunts Go Marching Two by Two…

 “If left to their own devices, aphids will deform and stunt your plants.” They’re bonsai. They are already as stunted as I want them to be!

Wolfsie

Hobby Hubby

When my wife and I go on vacation we enjoy zip-lining, parasailing and windsurfing, but there is just so much of that you can watch before it gets very tiring.

April 2019
Breslin
Alive and Kidding

Are You Calm or a Worrywart?

 

I sobbed out, “I accidentally belched in the middle of dinner! I’m so embarrassed, I’ll never be able to face Kevin again!”

Poor Dad rolled his eyes and said, “You mean I just drank half a bottle of that disgusting chalk for that?”

Rearick
Puttin' on the Gritz

Drop Back One and Punt

Five minutes later, crawling on my hands and knees, I reach my rumpled bed while holding a small plastic wastebasket clamped between my front teeth. Babe, on the other hand, is walking the floor as if he’s the title of a country/western song.

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