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Humor

January 2019
Bardy
Laverne's View

Just Another Day in Hell

 I explained that I have had countess decades to form friendships with vegetables, but it hadn’t happened, “so, while it’s difficult to believe that it’s ever going to happen, I understand the importance of at least inviting them to dinner,” so I promised I would.

Breslin

It’s Hard to Buy a Winter Coat in Winter

Discouraged, I headed home and actually tried to repair my old jacket. The results were so crooked, bunched up and hideous looking, the only place I’d ever wear the jacket would be in the woods…after dark. Even then, the wild animals probably would point at it and laugh.

Levine

Where, Oh Where Art Thou, Fellow Snowbirds?

Like Florida gators, it was possible that we could make friends on the water so we did take some intercoastal waterway cruises. These excursions featured the waterfront properties of the rich and ostentatious.

Witham
Ernie's World

Head West, er, East, er, Somewhere, Young Man

Being a visionary city, Tokyo uses Oshiya or “passenger arrangement staff” to literally shove millions of passengers aboard the trains during rush hours to maximize car space, which works quite well. Our train was so full, I could have passed out cold and never ended up on the floor.

July 2018
Rearick
Puttin' on the Gritz

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Purse

I tossed my cloth napkin on the floor so that I would have a reason to crawl underneath the table. Did I want to seriously slap that woman into the middle of next week? Oh, yes.

Bardy
Laverne's View

Now Hear This

 “If you’d have just slapped the plate down in front of me I’d have been forced to eat whatever was on it. Now I have to make a responsible decision, damn it. Just bring me a pickle.”

Love Cook

Road Rage, Robe Rage and Overload Rage

It was a lengthy wait. In fact, it appeared the elderly driver was trying to make up his mind. Maybe he was thinking: Is it Pepto Bismol that I’m after? As a senior often overwhelmed by indecision, I could identify.

Murphy
Social Insecurity

When the Going Gets Tough — Have a Snack

Now comes the hard part — stepping out the door and putting one foot in front of the other somewhat quickly. This is the juncture where most of us falter. For many older novice runners this is their version of “hitting the wall.”

Stobie

How to Be a Geezer

Geezers are tough. Geezers are distinctive and ornery. A geezer has a strong identity. If you want to be called a geezer, here’s how to do it.

Witham
Ernie's World

Plane, Train, Taxi, and a Man From Holland

The paper with the two Japanese characters, followed by 4 numbers separated by dashes, then two more characters, three numbers, a dot, then four more numbers got passed around. One neighbor would point one way, while another pointed the other way. Then they would switch.

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