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Humor

February 2018
Bardy
Laverne's View
Chamberlin

Eureka! RumpleSilkSkin!

The new jiggles are on the inner side. I twist both arms, left, right, left. The jiggles twist left, right, left. Pretty! I do it again and again. I’m mesmerized. Ripples run elbow to wrist, like rivulets in rows on the ocean floor (sand at low tide) except mine are movable, choreographed in the twisting, and minuscule, crepey, a little puffy.

Joseph

Three ‘Secrets’ for a 50th Anniversary

Love the person you’re with, not some fantasy person, not someone you want to change, but someone you love just as they are. Not someone whose behavior you like in every situation, but someone you love in every situation.

White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

A Tale of Two Harveys

One look at my abdomen with those purplish blue stretch marks, an earthworm-looking scar on my left side, a souvenir from my appendectomy, and two floppy breasts that are long enough to be tucked into my sexy white cotton high-waisted briefs – and old Harvey would have been traumatized for life!

Wolfsie

Is That My Echo?

The person selling these kinds of products always claims something like "It's so easy to use. Just plug it in." This is never true, although I got my new desk lamp working in under an hour.

November 2017
Bardy
Laverne's View

There’s No Place Like It

“Sweetheart,” I said, “Do you remember our beautiful, renovated kitchen, with every modern convenience? If so, then you must certainly know I’ve never been in it. So, why would I enjoy cooking on vacation, in a small box on wheels?”

Breslin
Alive and Kidding

I Can't Flip My Mattress!

It had been so long since I'd slept on anything that didn't resemble a ski slope or a topographical map of the Himalayas, I'd forgotten what a level mattress felt like. It was heavenly. I actually could feel my back muscles writing me a thank-you note.

White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

Are My Stocking Seams Straight?

What did we ever concern or complain about before in our younger years? All we had to worry about back then was to find the ideal mate (which we did) raised well-adjusted, give-back-to-society kids (which they are) and be nothing to those who crossed and are crossing our paths in life but a joy and inspiration to them (which we are).

Witham
Ernie's World

Happy Big Night Day

Fifteen shrimp, a mound of risotto the size of a small animal, and several glasses of wine later, I stopped complaining.

Wolfsie

Feeding Frenzy

Some biographers think the equation E = mc2 really meant the amount of food you can Eat (that would be E) is equal to the size of the average Mouth (that’s M) times the number of cousins (C) who were invited for a holiday dinner.

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