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February 2016
Circling the Drain

Watching Grandma Circle the Drain

Alkaline hydrolysis is only legal in two states: Minnesota and New Hampshire. Other states, including Ohio, California, Florida, Maine and Oregon have legislation pending. So, if hydrolysis appeals to you, you'll have to be sure that you include in your last will and testament, instructions for someone to drive you over the border.

Ernie's World

Tube Be or not Tube Be

Did I mention we were the only ones in the dimly-lit lava tube? No one in the world knew we were here except us. If we did have a combination earthquake/eruption/flash flood it might be decades before we were excavated.

January 2016
Laverne's View

Fun, as in Funeral

My sorrow intensified as I pondered the fact that she was my peer, and I was way too young to be the same age as someone who died of old age.

The Hippocratic Oaf

Are Your Grandchildren Drugged? Hey, Your Grandparents Did the Same Thing!

Finally, in 1910, the New York Times decided the whole narcotic-babysitter concept was probably bad in the long run, and ran an article pointing out that these soothing syrups contained, "...morphine sulfate, chloroform, morphine hydrochloride, codeine, heroin, powdered opium, cannabis indica," and sometimes several of them in combination.

The Grumpy Old Man

Grumpy Goes Fly Fishing

Trout are extremely intelligent. Their priorities are eating, resting and reproducing. In fact, that's their entire agenda. If that's not proof of intelligence I don't know what is.


‘Sick’ Humor

I quickly learned that it isn’t wise to make a nurse laugh when she is about to insert needles into my body. I made this error before my first chemo infusion and had to wait until she literally stopped shaking from laughter. From then on, I held my quips until all needles were in proper places.

Ernie's World

Big Island. Big Worries.

There was a section on sharks that warned not to swim in murky water at dawn or dusk. That didn't seem to be a big concern. At dawn I'm sleeping and at dusk I'm drinking.


Enjoying a Little Guinness

The oldest divorce in history was between two people in England, both over 90 years old. Said the unhappy couple, "We were waiting for the kids to die."

December 2015

Every Christmas Present was Gone… Stolen!

As I stood there with my mouth hanging open I wondered, how had we slept through this? Why hadn’t Mercy alerted us to intruders? Suddenly I had a horrible thought. Had they somehow taken my beloved dog? Lured her with treats?

Laverne's View

Flaws I'm Forced to Accept

I was shocked to see mothers weeping and hanging onto their youngster's shirt tails, unable to say goodbye. It was then that I knew something was seriously wrong with me. All I felt was pure, unadulterated glee, as I bounced up and down, waved pom poms and cheered:  "Hip, hip, hooray! Children goin' away. Soon as she gets outta' here, Mama's gonna play."

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