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April 2017

Privacy Is a Thing of the Past

He knows he’s being spied on because pop-up advertisements start appearing all over his computer screen. One example is when Freddy whimsically viewed a swimsuit slide show; ads for intimacy paraphernalia kept popping up for over a week.

Agelessly Yours

For Whom He Sings, Only God Knows

I angrily turned toward my disgusted – and moneywise, much poorer husband.  “If Pavarotti offered to privately sing for me at our home — even in the shower –  I’d stuff a fistful of biscotti down his throat!” I cried.



When I was certain I had all the moves right, it looked like the other 65 people were doing it all wrong. And in unison. The five men in the class were eager for the session to end and to get on with their day. I knew his because they were all dancing in their golf shoes.

March 2017
Add One More Day...

Curmudgeon … Grouch … Party Pooper ... What …. ever!

Anyway, after standing in line with what seems like ten thousand other shoppers, chatting about the pros and cons of air fresheners with Doris the cashier, I'm finally awarded custody of my items and collecting said items back into my cart, only to be confronted at the exit by another staff member who performs what I can only assume is magic when they count all 137 items in my bags and boxes, compare the bundle to the receipt they demanded, and all in less time than it took Doris to comment on my toilet paper and then bid me a good day. 

Sam's Side

The Sum of Our Parts

But the truth is, my brain is lazy. I can remember stuff that I think is fun, but ask me to remember to get bread and mayo, and I might just come home with toilet paper and cheese (hey…we’ll use them eventually). That’s the kind of irritating memory lapses that I possess.

Puttin' on the Gritz

Obsessions, Possessions and Confessions

I can never be the perfect housekeeper my mother-in-law was but I’m too old to care. The woman did her spring cleaning every Monday morning at 8:17 sharp. She waxed the glass shelves in her fridge with lemon oil and color coordinated the cold cuts. Me? I wipe off the fridge shelves just before trading it in for a new model.

Agelessly Yours

Getting More Attention Than Most

I’m not saying that as we age we all haven’t earned the right to live one stage away from being in a coma, but let’s face it, some people slow down long before they even start up. Tilly took to her bed when she was around 45, but before then, she was very bearable, almost entertaining until she discovered that she could really bask in the limelight if she was constantly “sick.”

Ernie's World

Spirit of California Gold Country

The California Gold Rush started in 1848 and ended in about 1855. Some 300,000 prospectors came from all over to world to find their fortune. Very few did. But they did greatly increase the population and development of California, as well as the traffic on Route 5, which at that time was simply known as Donkey Cart Path 1.


All the News That’s Fit to Sprint!

Kevin is used to dealing with people who sit in front of a computer all day and he feared that helping them set up their Fitbit could lead his clients to begin a physical fitness regimen — leaving less time for them to download viruses and malware, the bread and butter of his repair service.

February 2017
Levine's Levity

Tax Loopy Holes

As a tax pro at a retail firm, I have found that every line in the 1040 is the catalyst for a mini-series. In fact a good name for what ensues is a “Funny Thing Happened on the Way to The Forms” If you don’t agree, I will refund your time spent reading this.

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