Despite the appellation "The Golden Years," most seniors would still agree with Scott Peck's opening sentence in The Road Less Travelled: "Life is difficult." We all have memories that are best left in a "locked file cabinet." However, each of us also have at least some memories that bring joy to our hearts and that nourish our spirits.
Thinking back to pleasant events can be like mini-vacations. Here are some examples of my "getaway videos":
"Seeing" my future wife for the first time on a blind date as she stood framed in a Greenwich Village doorway looking up at me with her gorgeous green eyes.
"Seeing" my mother looking at our newborn daughter in the baby nursery with a look of complete joy on her face.
"Seeing" myself as I answer a phone call from an editor and learning of my first sale as a writer.
For many seniors, one valuable resource for pleasant memories can be vacations (I know, I know, they can also be depression city — put those in the locked file cabinet). One of my favorites is a trip I recently took with my daughter to the Black Hills of South Dakota. I can play the "video" of our trip in my head on an otherwise dreary day and it immediately cheers me up.
Sometimes our former careers can be a source of good memories. Of course, looking back on any career, days will come to mind in which it was just "biting the bullet" and putting one foot in front of the other until it was time to go home. But generally there were some nourishing times. For me, I think back to a particular day as an assistant principal when the principal was out of the building, and I handled a number of difficult situations well.
Another resource for taking a positive memory break can be television. If you’re a sports fan, going over in your mind a satisfying win for your favorite team can get those endorphins surging. I'm a fanatic for the current “Downton Abbey” series on public television, and often take a mental break by going over in my mind the latest machinations of the various characters and trying to predict what they will do next.
Anyone can get into a mental loop of negative thinking, going over again and again a hurtful experience. When in a negative thinking loop, it is not easy to break the cycle, but changing the channel to a strong positive memory can sometimes help.
It is also a good idea when thinking about memories to be aware that we also help create memories for those around us. Our own happy memories often come from those times when we were sensitive to the needs of others.
Of course, we human beings often overdo things. So while driving through life it is best to keep your eyes on the road, but occasionally taking a break at a positive memory rest stop can be like having a cup of hot chocolate on a winter morning.
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