Remember the Chinese finger trap – the little woven-bamboo tube where you stick your index fingers in each end and then try to pull them out? The only way to extricate them is to stop pulling, wherein they come out easily.
Happiness is one of those elusive conditions that reminds me of that puzzle. It tops our list of desires, but I wonder if happiness is attainable through effort, especially as age sometimes bring us aches both physical and of the heart?
A campus-wide roundtable at my recent college reunion featured Katie Couric and a panel of experts discussing the new science of happiness and well-being. Their collective research about what truly makes people happy included some interesting points, such as the finding that each age group defines happiness differently.
(Drumroll) The happiest people are middle aged and older! While younger age groups define happiness in terms of excitement and satisfaction, fifty-year olds define happiness as balance. This definition morphs as we age to alignment, meaning, savoring, and finally contentment. Happiness reaches a peak around age 70, and can plateau there for nearly the rest of life. With some concession to those aches and pains, I suppose.
The panelists agreed that happiness is elusive if you are trying to attain it. This has been measured in many ways, but one interesting point is the effect of technology. While Facebook and other social media are good for empowering far-flung groups to organize for a purpose, they tend to make people feel lonelier. Everyone else seems so happy! The panelists agreed that a meaningful life - which can be achieved deliberately - is a better goal, and often results in happiness as a derivative.
Returning home, I found an online article declaring Denmark to be the happiest country on Earth. This was based on research published by economists in the World Happiness Report, co-edited by University of British Columbia economics professor John Helliwell. He wrote, “Six factors explain three-quarters of differences in life evaluations across hundreds of countries and over the years.”
The happiest countries have in common high scores in three government-level measures: a large GDP per capita, healthy life expectancy at birth, and a lack of corruption in leadership. The other three factors play out on a more personal control level: a sense of social support, freedom to make life choices and a culture of generosity.
Among the evidence the researchers named in rating Denmark the highest was their support for parents, and health care as a civil right and source of social support. Gender equality is prioritized, biking is common as transportation, and Danes feel a responsibility to one another. Forty percent of Danes do volunteer work, and close to 90% voted in the last election. Their culture also manages to put a positive spin on its harsh environment.
The U.S. ranked 17th in happiness of the 156 countries surveyed. I’m not sure how to feel about that. That’s almost in the top 10%, but of course we like to consider ourselves the absolute top of everything. In fact, the authors noted that the U.S. and many Western European nations ranked higher than predicted.
University of Illinois’ Benjamin Radcliff comments on our #17 showing in a book published in 2013 called The Political Economy of Human Happiness: How Voters’ Choices Determine the Quality of Life. Radcliff concludes, “Americans are happy, just not as happy as they could be. . . Our decades-long debate over Social Security and Medicare in now joined by a messy debate over Obamacare. Underlying them all is the fact that the pursuit of happiness is established as one of America’s founding principles. What we’re really arguing about is how much to pay for it.”
Nevertheless, if scoring 17th makes you a little sad, you just may be able to improve your own personal happiness score. Having recently read Dr. David Burn’s Feeling Good, a classic self-help book first published in 1980, I am convinced happiness is largely a state of mind.
Burns’ exercises help readers recognize and control negative thoughts that lead to mood swings. Burns outlines several tools for rewiring the little voice in your head that over dramatizes the bad and under-rewards the good in your life. Just working through these exercises tends to release my brain to better enjoy the process of life. Like releasing your fingers by reducing the tension on the bamboo trap, wise elders learn to release the need to control. In the process, we may find elusive happiness.
Karen Telleen-Lawton, CFP®, serves seniors and pre-seniors as the Principal of Decisive Path Fee-Only Financial Advisory in Santa Barbara, California (http://www.DecisivePath.com). You can reach her with your financial planning questions at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .