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May 2018

I’ll Never Want to Do Have it All

If I was a member of this modern workforce, I’d probably end up at some halfway house, working on my 12 steps to achieving happiness through interpretive yodeling, just to get a break from all the accomplishing! 


We Were Young Together

A lifetime of years passed. Occasional phone calls and emails formed a dotted line connecting the then with the now. Disasters did strike — cancers, hospitalizations, deaths, divorces, job losses. It has been 25 years since we last met in person, but there is no anxiety or self-consciousness, only joyful anticipation.


A Mother’s Day Gift

In the months prior to her health decline, my mother would reminisce about her childhood and about the post-war days in our small country house where she began her journey as the stay at home mother that she never had. And for this I thanked her in a Mother’s Day letter that year she turned 94.  

Walker Gendusa

Old Soldiers Never Die

I looked at her and she at me. From Poland to America to Vietnam to Georgia to a dining room. We both stared at the doll. Tears fell down my cheeks, and I felt as if two fallen soldiers were standing with us looking at two women utterly aghast at the curious, mysterious junctions where lives meet and why.


It’s My Birthday and I’ll Dye if I Want To

Suddenly there were articles in fashion magazines and the New York Times Styles section reporting on countless glamorous, courageous women who were going gray! Even young people were putting gray streaks in their hair. I was no longer the lone woman in the room. I was part of a trend.


It Came Down to This

She encouraged me that we might not be able to connect with Mom in the old ways, but we would be able to on a new plane. Within that realm, the past doesn't exist. In the present, we can share the joys of the moment, getting to know each other in a new way. That gave me new hope.


Will You Always Know Me?

Now Mom is the star that was birthed after her transition, the wind on my skin, the butterfly that skims the bush outside of my window and the white egret that circles overhead, flapping its wings in acknowledgment when I ask for a sign, beckoning to me to leave my own cage and join her. Yes, Mom. I will always know you.


A Father’s Day Tribute

I see Dad everywhere. I see him on the tractor as he plows the fields or in the barn as he milks the cows. But his fields are wild and overgrown now and the barn is falling down, but yet it, too, seems to wait for the milk cows and Dad’s return.


Don’t Give Me a Flaky Pie Crust

Even when we disagree, we either nod our head or change the subject. I’ve known some stubborn folks in my life and I suppose some would call me opinionated to the extreme, but are we willing to sacrifice our friendship over opinions? I don’t think so.


A Dad Makes A Difference

“Kids!” Dad would yell out just before sitting down to supper. “Come to the table before your milk gets cold.” That’s about as witty as he would get and we’d roar with laughter thinking
he was the funniest card around.

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