For quite some time, I've been trying to figure out who's messing with my recipes. This morning, I decided it must be more than one person.
When I heard we might be in for more rain, sleet, and possibly even snow, I thought a big pot of cheese-broccoli soup would be mighty fine – especially since son had been home and left with the "planned-over" chili.
Searching the pantry for necessary makings, I discovered everything I needed, with one exception: I had only one can of cream of chicken soup! Grabbed my coat and hurried to the neighborhood grocery store to pick up another can of soup, and was almost to the checkout counter when, remembering the weather report, decided I'd better get more milk and bread. Mission accomplished. I hurried home.
Of course, for quite some time I've been suspicious that somebody is messing with my recipes, but I haven't mentioned it to anyone except a couple of close friends. They, too, have become aware of shrinking cans and sundry container sizes, but so far, we've been able to keep our mouths shut.
Now, it's time somebody spoke up! Just in case you haven't already noticed, there's some kind of a conspiracy going on in our kitchens!
There is no telling how many cans and boxes have been secretly downsized with no warning. Who gave container-fillers permission (or orders) to put less in a can or box of stuff we've been buying and using quite satisfactorily for years? Or, did everybody else get the message and I missed it?
If we cannot depend on cans of soup being the same size they have always been, what can we depend on? My soup recipe calls for two cans of cream of chicken soup. There is no mention that one can might be smaller than the other!
The can in my cabinet contained 14.75 ounces and the one I just purchased has only 10.5 ounces. The recipe maker, and I, expect two "large" cans of soup to have the same number of ounces inside! Always has been. Should still be!
Now, PLEASE don't tell me to read the label on the can when I purchase soup, or any other product I've been buying for years! Never before have I had to face this dilemma! Why should I have to scrutinize ounces when in the grocery store? Two sizes is a perfectly good idea: large and small, will do. I suspect there are other, quieter women, out there who also expect can sizes to be uniform, exact, and dependable.
Since I am not normally a troublemaker, rabble rouser, or angry old bird, I have an idea how to fix this maddening matter. I realize canned-soup makers have discovered some cooks actually make small pots of soup. I don't know why. (I guess they have not experienced the wonderful pleasure of finding leftover soup in their freezer on a cold winter day.)
I also know canned soup isn't the only thing SOMEBODY is messing with. Cake mix boxes aren't as large as they were a short time ago either. But, so far, the amount of icing in those little round cardboard containers remains the same. We have too much icing, for our downsized cakes.
The first couple of times I had leftover icing, I just plopped a handful of pecans in it, and stood there licking the spoon. But it's really not so good without the cake, is it?
Right now, there are two cans of leftover cake icing in my refrigerator – one chocolate and one vanilla. I really need to throw them away, but throwing food away is against my religion. I just don't believe in it.
Actually, sometimes I just pilled the leftover icing in the hole in the middle of my cake, but all of my cake pans don't have holes in them.
Now, whoever is messing with the main cooks of America, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION! It isn't that I don't realize some folks need and appreciate smaller cans and boxes, so by all means go ahead and fill some, but could you please just put them in the baby-size aisles?
Patsy Pipkin is a freelance writer, columnist, and author. She lives in Searcy, Arkansas.