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Travel Logs June 2017

Automobile Travel Trumps Airplane Travel

By John C. Liburdi

Travel by car has a few other benefits. Since I don’t have to remove my shoes at an airport security checkpoint, I’m not embarrassed about the hole in my sock.

It’s now common knowledge that traveling relatively short distances by airplane these days has become an expensive and arduous experience — maybe even horrific for victims of airline overbooking! On the other hand, the automobile has evolved to the point where it now makes darn good sense to drive a few hundred miles instead of taking a short-duration flight.

The cost of flying has become exorbitant. Ticket prices keep rising for no apparent reason; on top of that, cleverly invented fees are added for things like checked baggage and window seats. Also, it’s necessary to either take an expensive taxi to the airport or pay for parking while you’re gone. Travel by car costs less by far: gas is pretty cheap; new cars get great gas mileage; most interstates highways have no tolls, and my car’s trunk holds a ton of luggage.

Flight safety is obviously a serious concern. The skies are increasingly more crowded; yet, most of our nation’s air traffic control systems are outdated. Also, commercial airliners now have air marshals on board to keep maniacs and terrorists in check. On the other hand, my new car has blind spot warning, lane-keeping assist, and an automatic braking system for collision avoidance. Plus, I only allow nice people in my car – thus, I feel pretty safe and secure when I drive.

Flying is hardly convenient; it’s necessary to leave home at least two hours prior to flight departure time. At the air terminal, airline personnel have largely vanished from the scene so passengers must struggle with computer terminals to get boarding passes and baggage stickers.

Then there’s the long line at the security checkpoint. Next is a stop at an overcrowded airport snack bar to preclude in-flight starvation. Finally, boarding the plane is an agonizingly slow process. While all that takes place, I’m halfway to my destination by car, even after a quick stop for fast food.

Comfort is another big consideration. More plane seats are being squeezed into a given size plane, leaving hardly any legroom. Obviously, ear pressure at high altitudes is painful. To use the lavatory, it’s necessary to climb over adjacent passengers and then stand in line. Plus, the continually recycled cabin air is contaminated with unpleasant odors from other passengers. It’s different in my car: plenty of legroom, no high altitude ear pressure, timely rest area potty breaks, and I can always roll down my car windows for fresh air.

Travel by car has a few other benefits. Since I don’t have to remove my shoes at an airport security checkpoint, I’m not embarrassed about the hole in my sock. Also, I sometimes utter profanity when I’m frustrated — unacceptable on the plane but perfectly OK in my car. Likewise, I have complete privacy during intimate conversations on my car’s hands-free cell phone system. Finally, once I’m at my destination, I’ve already got my luggage and have my own car to use – no long waits at baggage claim and no rip-off rental car contracts.

I must admit that my attitude about flying drastically changed for the worse when TWA and Pan Am went away. Back when air travel was a pleasant luxury, attractive young stewardesses would smile and say, “fly me” as they gracefully served my gourmet meal — with real china, glassware and silverware! That’s all changed.

On my flight last month, a beastly flight attendant muttered “screw you” when I failed to catch the tiny pack of stale pretzels she threw in my direction. That prompted me to shout, “Hey, you old bag; do I look like a freaking NFL wide receiver?”  The air marshal quickly got to where I was sitting; I really don’t remember much after that.

Like I said before, it now makes darn good sense to drive a few hundred miles instead of taking a short-duration flight. In fact, the stern judge at my trial even agreed that it’s best for me to travel by car from now on. Hmm, maybe I should have heeded Dinah Shore’s sage advice in those old TV commercials when she sang: “See the USA in your Chevrolet.”

 

Liburdi’s books are available at on-line bookstores and on the Kindle Reader.

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