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Reflections August 2012

Forever Gainfully and Painfully Employed

By John C. Liburdi

With the unemployment rate so high, no one is going to tell their boss to "Take this job and shove it." I was getting set to utter those very words until my retirement nest egg went down the toilet with the stock market and my Social Security benefits became a political pinata.

All the recent talk about unemployment set me to thinking about that very subject -- jobs. Some trades and professions have essentially vanished, others have evolved, and many have left our shores. I'm wondering -- where does that leave the average American like me?

Admittedly, some jobs have become obsolete. The only chimney sweep I've seen lately was in the old Mary Poppins musical. Those supercalifragilisticexpialidocious guys are a dying breed now that most everyone has a natural gas or video screen fireplace. And I don't see any further need for the quaint tinker either; today's cheap Teflon pans get tossed in the trash when they wear out. The shade-tree mechanic has vanished too. Cars have become computer systems riding on four wheels -- can't fix them with a monkey wrench.

On the other hand, ambitious entrepreneurs have created some new jobs. That smokin' hot gal down the street is the perfect example. She's must be doing well because I keep seeing different magnetic signs on the side of her van: first was in-home pet sitting, then garage cleaning, etc. Perhaps she'll convert that van into a mobile massage parlor as her next moneymaking enterprise.

Then there are the transformed jobs. Our grubby garbage man first morphed into a pristine sanitation worker. Today he's known as an environmental engineer, which is certainly more prestigious than being a mortgage broker or bank executive. How about the TV repairman who used to make house calls to fix massive console TVs? He abandoned the old glass tubes and his mundane repairman title to become a sharp electronics technician. Now he's in the Geek Squad, riding the wave of new technology!

Unfortunately, lots of jobs have been outsourced to countries on the other side of the Pacific. That became evident as I was flirting with my bank's customer service rep on the phone, a sweet sounding girl who revealed that she's located in the Philippines, along with all my financial data. Of course, the 1-800 help desks for computer support are always somewhere in and around the New Delhi "Diss is dee desk for elping." Those friendly chaps are always so nice to me, as though I were the government official who issues immigration visas.

Even some of the jobs that haven't left our shores have a dubious future. Midwife was a booming profession, but now it's in decline because of the recent government mandate to proliferate free birth control. Likewise, proctologists are becoming a bit pessimistic about their future. With the unemployment rate so high, no one is going to tell their boss to "Take this job and shove it." I was getting set to utter those very words until my retirement nest egg went down the toilet with the stock market and my Social Security benefits became a political pinata.

Apparently, my humble destiny is to continue on as a working stiff right up to the day I become a stiff in the morgue. I do promise to make that transition very quietly so as not to embarrass any career politicians. After all, their posh jobs shouldn't be put in jeopardy just because of one average American's painful saga.

 

Liburdi’s recent book Italian-American Fusion: Italy’s Influence on the Evolution of America is
available at on-line bookstores and the Kindle Reader. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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