Until I took my Master’s Degree in the early ‘80s, I thought ADHD was the new “in” child psychologist term to keep disruptive students from being suspended. Upon completion of a class about learning disabilities, I understood that not only was ADHD a real disorder, but it was rampant in my family and explained much about my own hyper behavior. The awakening began when the professor handed out a list of 20 ADHD traits. If a student had at least 10, he/she should be tested. I mentally checked off 15 characteristics for myself including difficulty with staying focused and impulsive behavior.
I finally comprehended why many gifted students in my family weren’t straight A students, and why it was the norm at family gatherings for everyone to talk simultaneously yet still be able to follow each other’s conversations. Since most of my generation holds graduate degrees, we obviously learned to control our desire to crawl under desks in the classroom. This is not to say I haven’t been left with childhood scars gathered while I learned socially accepted behaviors. But according to the information I recently read on WebMD, my family fared better than most when it comes to education and job performance.
Self-esteem of ADHD children is destroyed in early years. Teachers – and when I taught I was no different – isolated disruptive students. I vividly remember being made to sit under the high chair in kindergarten because of excessive chattering. I don’t know how or when, but by the time I started junior high, I had developed a bag of tricks to avoid public humiliation and, as an unforeseen byproduct, improve my concentration. I would doodle in margins or time myself to see how long it would take to write down all the states in alphabetical order. I also became an incessant gum chewer. I shared these hints with fellow ADHD family members younger than me but warned them to chew sugarless gum or gnaw on a straw. I had my first dental cap while in college.
The high school guidance counselor told my mother that my (older) brother would be lucky if he could get a job as a movie usher; remember those? He was frustrated with, and did poorly in, subjects that demanded a lot of memorization. My mother switched him from an academic to a commercial track with no foreign language or geometry requirements. We have never discussed it, but it is obvious my 79-year-old Bro mastered his bag of studying tricks because he graduated law school at 25. Like me, he is still ADHD. Both of us are in constant motion. He bike rides, I power walk.
When I had difficulty with the same subjects that frustrated my brother, my mother hired a tutor. I passed geometry by the skin of my teeth, failed French, was mortified, and barely passed it the next time. When it came to selecting a college, I scoured the catalogues thoroughly. If they required foreign language or any form of advanced math for a degree as an elementary education teacher, I did not apply.
Each stage of my life has brought new ways to help me stay focused and remain socially acceptable. After being put down in a social situation for interrupting — I tend to finish other’s conversations in my head, then butt in — I learned to keep saying to myself, “Let them finish.” However, when they do, I sometimes have forgotten what they had said.
As an adult, I began to knit or do needlepoint when I watched television or attended a meeting. Like doodling, it kept my hands busy and helped my listening skills. Recently, I added playing Words With Friends, an app on my cell phone, to do because I simply can’t just sit and stare at the television. More often than not, my opponent also has ADHD characteristics.
I had a problem with accepting medicating ADHD or ADD children. However, after seeing the positive change in many of my students’ focusing ability and social behavior, I realized that perhaps many of the hang ups that I have had throughout my life because of my ADHD would never have existed if I had medication as a child.
The other night while playing duplicate bridge in my active senior community, a player was knitting whenever she had a spare minute between games. When it was my turn to play her team, I looked at her busy hands, and then asked, “ADHD?”
She nodded.
How did I ever guess!
According to WebMD, “Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most well-recognized childhood developmental problems. This condition is characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. It is now known that these symptoms continue into adulthood for about 60% of children with ADHD. That translates into 4% of the U.S. adult population, or 8 million adults. However, few adults are identified or treated for adult ADHD. For more information: www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/adhd-adults.
Eda Suzanne is a retired reading specialist, now a freelance writer and the author of the humorous book, Retired Not Expired. Her web site is www.edasuzanne.com