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Humor

April 2012
White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

Pain in My Foot Becomes a Pain in Their Neck

Have you ever had an operation that was a resounding success, but recovery stunk all because you didn't follow the doctor's orders? You never spent a minute in medical school, yet you knew more than the doctor?

June 2012
Witham
Ernie's World

It's All Neanderthal Man's Fault

It's not that I don't like char broiled foods, you understand. It's just that like a lot of guys I tend to like more technologically advanced cooking procedures, such as calling take-out. Also, I try to avoid any activity that makes me look foolish (not counting golf).

August 2012
Bardy
Laverne's View

How Much Is That Doggie . . .

The one time we gave in to our longing we bought a darling, energetic, puppy and named him Spike. After exhaustive weeks of training him, we were forced to accept that we were too old to deal with a high strung, yapping puppy, so with tremendous guilt and sadness, we found him a good home and swore never to do that again.

Witham
Ernie's World

Just want to be... Stuck in the middle with you...

Another reason I chose Independent was a purely guy thing. I didn't know if all those "California Girls" the Beach Boys sang about were Republican or Democrat and I wanted them to know I go both ways -- so to speak.

July 2012
Witham
Ernie's World

Men With Wieners and the Women Who Love Them

It was our turn to host the annual Fourth of July barbecue, and my wife had left me in charge of the main course after I assured her that I couldn't possibly screw-up something as simple as hot dogs.

Telleen-Lawton

What’s So Funny?

In other words, Dad didn’t get it and passed it to Mom, who found it too annoyingly true to be humorous.

Cotsana

Everybody Needs a Grumpy Old Uncle

Those nieces and nephews are now all adults with children of their own and fondly remember their visits when they were young. When they plan to drop by, they ask their kids if they would like to go for a quick visit to see "Grumpy Old Uncle Jim."

White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

Blessed by the Gift of Many Years?

Hasn't he noticed how I don't as yet look into the mirror and scream, although my once vibrant eyes, now sagging neck, laugh, frown and puppet lines wouldn't have Glamour magazine clamoring for me to be on its cover. Of course I could always have one of those “touch-up” jobs, but who wants to be on the cover of Popular Mechanics?

Liburdi

The Perpetual Flow of Pricey Pills

When I finally do get in to see the doc, he inevitably hands me one or two illegible prescription slips. As I was trying to read one, it occurred to me that physicians ought to handle secret communications for the military. Between the dead language the docs use and their illegible writing, no enemy could ever decipher the code.

Sherman
Strictly Humor

Awesome, But Don’t Garfunkel Your Dog

Ladies, if your slip was showing in 1955, someone might’ve told you that “your pinky’s out of jail.” Gentlemen, if you found yourself stuck with the family station wagon on prom night, you had to transport your date in a “tank,” but that might’ve increased your chances of playing a game of “backseat bingo.”

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