When I attempt to write a column on my home computer, I get sidetracked when I check my email. After bringing up Yahoo, but before I click on “mail,” cute little stories flash across the screen with enticing photos. It’s like a three-ring circus. I can’t resist clicking:
Zuckerberg Buys Wife Not-So-Simple Ring. This news shakes me to my core. The multibillionaire buys his wife a ruby ring worth only $100,000! And some people call him a cheapskate. I learn that in Asian culture (his wife is Asian) a ruby is more treasured than a diamond and more expensive. I stare at my silver wedding ring.
Chant Zings Tebow — I have to read that. Tebow’s Jets team chants LoLo, because the female Olympic runner has stated she, like Tebow, is a virgin. A man tells her that having sex makes people run faster. I guess I’ll have to try out that little tidbit.
Another Bear Falls from a Tree in Colorado — this is getting close to my heart. Bears fascinate me, and I take more time to study the story about a bear knocked out of a tree with tranquilizers in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Man meets nature full force. Poor bear, hopefully he will survive longer than the last bear that was dropped out of a tree. A week later, it was hit by a car and killed.
Dolled Up Stars Surprise Reality. I resist this teaser.
An Adorable Person Isn’t What You Think. Who cares?
Worst Traffic in U.S. Isn’t LA. I have to read that one. I am surprised to see Honolulu listed as number one. The average driver wastes 58 hours a year in traffic. The driver could have been reading these adorable little stories on Yahoo if he’d stayed home.
Tourism in Outer Space. After reading about traffic gridlock in ten cities, I see why outer space touring interests people.
Woman Booted from Plane Over T-shirt. I picture her flying through the air, but don’t read the story.
A Woman Gets Married to Herself. I try, but can’t picture the wedding or the presents.
Yes, I get distracted and waste precious time looking at these stories. After I open my email I am confronted with junk mail, such as “Medium predicts end of world.” I save that one just in case it comes true. It’s not difficult to trash the loan offers, hair product ads, and a deal from Nigeria where a supposed heir wants to share with me a million-dollar inheritance – if I will just hand over my checking account number.
After much time has passed, I realize I’m late for an appointment and never wrote a word of my column. And I’m concerned more perky stories will appear on Yahoo tomorrow, and more junk mail will show up in my inbox.
I’m getting frustrated. So many distractions, so little time.