Meet our writers

Win $1,000







Advice & More September 2017

Ask Miss Nora

Facing Facts

To some folk, it’s the gift wrapping, not the gift that matters! Continue to add to your scrapbook of life and enjoy the fact that you have something most people lack … an abundance of non-surgically enhanced self-worth and honor. 

Dear Miss Nora: I am so tired of my “friends” asking if I am going to have a facelift or some other surgical procedure now that I've turned 70.  I'm pretty comfortable financially and could afford to have something done if I wanted to, but its offensive as hell to be asked this question as though I’m embarrassed by my age. I've always been really honest about how old I am and I've never pretended to be younger.

Whenever I've been asked, I happily disclose my age without the least hesitation. Not long ago, I was set up on a kind of blind date – I knew the gentleman but not to speak to – who asked if I minded him asking how old I was. His next question was to ask if I've had “anything done!” 

I consider my body and wrinkles to be kind of like a scrapbook of my life and events. I don’t want to do anything to erase my lines or sags. Can you please advise me on what I can say to these “friends” that will adequately put them in their place?  — Happy Face in California 

Dear Happy Face: Bravo! I'm impressed by your self-confidence. Not many women these days feel comfortable enough in their own skin to ignore the pressure to surgically pull back the years. As for your friends, don’t waste your breath. Instead, look for new acquaintances and ditch the lot of them. I'm pretty sure they wouldn’t hear whatever protest you made anyway, no matter how clever or pithy your response to their ill-mannered query was. To some folk, it’s the gift wrapping, not the gift that matters!      

Continue to add to your scrapbook of life and enjoy the fact that you have something most people lack … an abundance of non-surgically enhanced self-worth and honor.

 

Dear Miss Nora: My aging father-in-law is coming to stay with us and I'm dreading it. My husband practically disappears when any of his family visits us and I'm left to carry the extra load. But his father requires more and more attention now and really shouldn’t be left on his own (understandably).
   
It’s not that I mind my husband’s father, he's quite lovely. In fact, I find his yesteryear reminiscing and war stories to be fascinating. But I want my vanishing spouse to pull his weight too.

Am I being unfair? When I've approached the subject, I'm told that it’s not all that much more work to look after one old man and that I’ll regret my complaints when dad passes away. — Tired already in Ohio

Dear Tired: Your husband deserves a clip around the ear for attempting to play on your guilty conscience. It’s a low blow and a childish way to get out of facing his responsibilities. I’d apply the same reasoning back at him ... If it’s not all that much more work then why isn’t he eager to assist in the welfare of his soon-to-be-departed father?

However, no one wins in this scenario if you refuse to shoulder the care and attention of your visiting in-law. Your self-centered husband does have a good point (albeit, an inconsiderately worded one), you will regret not doing the best you can for a man who deserves the best you can give. Saying that, there’s nothing to stop you from enjoying a long and solitary vacation once your father-in-law has returned to his own household.

Leave your husband to take care of himself for two weeks while you lounge by the pool or sit by the ocean reading a good book and recharge your batteries. Remind him that it won’t be all that much more work for him to look after one old man by himself for a while.

 

Nora will take requests for advice through email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Meet Miss Nora