There’s nothing new about baby boomers having their parents move in with them when the elders can no longer live alone. But this economy has raised multi-generation households to a new high, in fact, the highest level since World War II. At the center of combined living is my generation. Currently one in five Americans age 55 and up are sharing their homes with their older relatives, their children, and possibly their grandchildren. In many cases, a generation is missing, as grandparents are raising their grandchildren.

As the economy slumped lower and lower in the last couple of years, I watched as the houses surrounding mine began to bulge with additional residents. The tiny home on my west side brought in a travel trailer and parked it behind the house to accommodate a brother and a nephew. On my east side, the young couple living there brought one of their parents in to live with them. Across the street from me is a small rental, two bedrooms and one bathroom. Yet at least six adults moved in to share costs. I didn’t ask, but chances are all of these new housing combinations happened because of job loss that led to problems with their prior living arrangements.

How Common Is This?

A study by the Pew Internet Research Center says 49 million Americans (16% of the population) in 2012 now live in multi-generation households. In the last five years, that is an increase of 2.5 million people sharing housing.

Obviously the weakened economy of the last few years is a major contributing factor. Many have lost jobs and had to settle for lower paying positions, if they could find work at all. Others have watched their retirement savings dwindle to nothing. Untold numbers have lost their homes to foreclosure, and even renters were ousted when their landlords lost their rental properties. To accommodate the newly homeless, many have decided it makes sense to merge. That may mean clearing out the extra bedroom for Grandma or turning the double garage into a small apartment for the kids and grandkids. Some baby boomers have decided with their parents (or their children) to sell both houses and buy one big enough to meet the needs of both generations.

If this is something you are thinking about, you may be anticipating the change positively, or dreading it as the end of life as you know it. You already know the advantages -- help paying the mortgage or rent plus utilities, the ability to keep a watchful eye on elderly relatives who can no longer live alone, possible help with babysitting the grandkids, shared company (assuming you like each other) -- and nobody goes homeless. But before you call the moving truck, think through and talk through the details.

Some Points to Consider

• What sacrifices will have to be made? Some routines will probably have to be altered, like when you take your shower. Some of your favorite activities may have to be put on hold for awhile.
• Decide what you are willing to give up. If retirement has turned you into a night owl, you may have to adjust your schedule if your grandkids wake up with the sun. If you finally bought a pool table for the extra bedroom it may have to give way to bunk beds for the twins.
• How will living together affect your relationships? If your mother-in-law’s bossiness bothers you when she lives across town, imagine how it will be when she lives in your house.
• Is your house big enough to accommodate new arrivals? If the arrangement appears to be long term, perhaps it would be worthwhile to renovate. If your property permits, you may want to build a mother-in-law apartment in the backyard, or put a room over the garage for your younger relatives who will be moving in. Before you decide to combine, check to see if you can legally build additions.
• Will you need to childproof your home? Or if an elder is coming to live with you, will you need to add features like safety bars around the toilet and in the bathtub and shower and a ramp to make access into the house easier?
• What about the financial arrangements? This is a big one so don’t neglect it. Talk in advance about who will pay for what and when they will pay it. This includes a share of the rent or mortgage, utilities, and the food budget. If you do need to modify the house, agree on how that will be paid for.
• While you are considering the financial aspects, if your new resident is an elderly parent, bring your siblings into the conversation. How they will contribute to help pay the added expenses?
• Will they agree to give you some respite from full-time caregiving if necessary? Some families arrange to have Pop live six months with one sibling, then move to the next sibling for six months, and so on so that no one family bears all the responsibility.
• Discuss how your new residents (assuming they are physically able) will share in the chores. Every additional house members adds to the need for cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc. Without an agreement, that can be a disaster waiting to happen. You can avoid hard feelings and misunderstandings by divvying up those chores from the start.
• Is there an increased need for caregiving? That may be caring for your father-in-law who is no longer ambulatory, or pitching in to babysit for your grandkids while their parents work. Don’t assume it will all just work out unless you yourself are willing to do it all.
• Talk about how long this arrangement is expected to last. Is this permanent? Or is your daughter looking for a place of her own and hoping to only be there six months?

Combining households could be a win/win option. Good communication before you combine is critical, but keep in mind, there’s no way to predict every possible situation that will arise. There are bound to be some solutions that can only be worked out by trial and error. Whatever you do, be willing to adapt.

Teresa Ambord is a former accountant and Enrolled Agent with the IRS. Now she writes full time from her home, mostly for business, and about family when the inspiration strikes.

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